markdkingsbury

(written in 2012 – Other Crimes/Updates & Current Charges can be accessed via the menu)

I wanted to write a blog about what I went through in order to encourage others, process it all, and finally let go of the past.

I was married to a man who has worked for various ministries for years, and to this day still designs websites for several of them. I have been unable to write about this up till now because the charges had been filed but he had not gone to trial yet. Just recently he entered a guilty plea and is a registered sex offender for life in the state of Missouri.

Mark and I had a rough marriage to say the least, he was abusive. He would push me, restrain me, spit in my face, rip the phone out of the wall, manually twist my ankles, slam various body parts in the doors.  Once he tried to run me over with a car.  It all started with “accidentally” hurting me when he was angry. More frequently he would dismantle the computer, rip the phone out of the wall, and leave in our only vehicle, so I couldn’t contact anyone and was stranded in our country home with the little ones. The list goes on and on.  Yes, I left him, took the children, got restraining orders, and helped prosecute him twice, (he plead guilty both times). He always wanted his family back together and the 2nd time completed anger management, counseling and a domestic violence series at our local church. It was a full year before I was willing to try living together again. When we moved back in together I am amazed to say the physical abuse stopped… for the last 2 years he was not physically violent.  The emotional abuse, name calling, and gaslighting never stopped.  He did his absolute best to convince me I was “crazy” and “delusional”.

Then one night I got up in the middle of the night to grab a bite, something I frequently did after nursing our baby.   My 6th grade daughter was waiting terrified in the kitchen. She told me she was afraid to come into my room because her dad was in there sleeping.  She had told me that her dad came and made her fondle him. She described “it” in detail, what it felt like… She was so scared, I will never forget the look in her eyes that night.  She had been pacing the kitchen close to an hour trying to figure out that to do, while he had climbed back in bed and fallen asleep. I called the police.

We sat outside so as not to wake him. The police came and arrested him. He called from the jail and tried to convince me he didn’t do anything, (he later pled guilty).  I was wife number 2, and our marriage lasted almost 7 years. Wife number 1 also divorced him due to a sex crime.  Later I was in contact with other women who had knowledge of previous sexual allegations but at that time I already knew he was guilty.   I will outline those items on another page as the information came from other women and are not really a part of my story.

You see Mark Kingsbury is a very good looking charismatic man. He was working in the ministry at the time, but behind closed doors he lied constantly… even about things that didn’t matter.  Looking back, I can honestly say the only genuine emotion I saw out of him in private was anger, he is an performer through and through. In public he was lovely. I never saw him give a sermon where he didn’t cry… he always seemed so caring to others, when they were around to see it. Even his mother once said he’s an actor and it’s true. Something is very broken in him.

The next 24 hours after I called the police were a whirlwind. We went to the child advocacy center and they interviewed my 2 girls. I was so proud of my eldest who had not only told me what happened, but was determined to make sure it didn’t happen to anyone else. My 3 year old said some questionable things about him, but they did not push. They are not allowed to ask direct questions to children at that age and she left thinking it was a really fun place.  The advocates were wonderful. That same day we got child protective order from the courthouse, which they kept open late just for us. We went to the bank and closed the joint account. I was then a stay at home mom, with 3 children and $400 dollars to my name and found out he hadn’t paid bills in 2 months.   I had no family or friends in the area, it was terrifying but I never looked back.

The next couple weeks just surviving was the goal. When I wasn’t loving and playing with my 3 children I was trying to figure out what to do next. I had so much support from my out of state family and friends. I contacted a couple local organizations and they helped with paying my rent for 2 months. God really watched out for us, through a large distance in miles they banded together in an amazing way.

My 11 year old and I were having nightmares all the time. We lived in the country, no other houses in sight.  When he was released on $100,000 bond, I knew I had to do something to keep us safe. I sold most everything, put his stuff in a storage unit, paid for 2 months and mailed him the key. I wasn’t trying to be nice exactly, but hauling it all to the dump would have been costly. I needed all the resources I had to get us out of there, I packed up our most important personal items and shipped them by container to a storage facility in Washington state.

We moved into a domestic violence shelter. I applied for free legal assistance for the divorce and was denied because there was not an available lawyer at the time, I filed an appeal and it worked. I got a lawyer and was divorced in a couple months. Mark was not allowed ANY contact with the children, and if I die… my will is to specify who they go to. I purchased a do it yourself will kit and immediately handled that too.  The shelter was amazing. There my daughter and I got counseling and felt safe for the 1st time in months. She was able to finish out the school year at her old school and I got a job offer in Washington state. I purchased plane tickets so we could leave when my 11 year old was done with the year. It was a real time of healing for us.

It was really hard to leave our home in the country. We had a 2000 sq ft house on 5 acres with a creek running through the property. It was set up for kids with a trampoline, slides, and swings. My daughter was in an incredible school with friends who were nothing short of amazing. She gave up so much and she knew this was going to take a long time to go to trial… we didn’t know how long though. One of the hardest things moving so far away from Mark’s first family. His ex-wife and I had built a relationship and though they were 4 hours away, the kids and I spent holidays with them before we moved. The little ones don’t remember their dad but they miss their brothers to this day. That man had 2 amazing families, and he wrecked them both times because of his sexual problems. One thing I will say for the guy though, he makes amazing babies.

We stayed with friends when we got to Washington. I found a job and apartment in the Olympia area. I am not making loads of money but we are making it… I was on public assistance for a couple months but have left that behind.  I’ve been working almost a year now . Our apartment is perfect, it’s tiny but it is in an amazing little neighborhood where the kids have friends and is very family oriented. Kids are in a great school district too. It has sure been a long haul but I feel like we have really built a new life here, and we are all so happy.

UPDATE: We went back to Missouri a couple weeks ago for Marks’s trial. 2 days before it was to begin he entered a guilty plea. My daughter is now 13 and I made sure she was able to be in the room to hear it. After all the paperwork, preparation, and depositions throughout these 2 years. She deserved to have that moment. So, it is over… my children are protected and the man who hurt them is a registered sex offender for life (see Missouri Highway Patrol website).

UPDATE II: I have worked full time for 10+ years now, raising these awesome kids on my own.  They are all intelligent, kind and empathetic.  The child who was victimized is doing amazing.  She is a strong adult woman who travels the world and works in exotic locations.  I love the way she lives her life, but even more the person she has become.  The “littles” aren’t so little anymore and they amaze me every day.  After being so taken in by Mark, I have no desire to remarry until my children are grown.  Even though every other man I have dated was a good one, I am very happy single and focusing on these wonderful kids, my life is full.  They know age appropriate information about their bio-dad.  We have also kept in touch with their brother from wife #1 and he is incredible too!

Mark does not provide for his children, God is the father that provides.

Other pages on this website have been added to provide information on other crimes and updates.